Lieveware Quckies: Dealing With Drama On The Internet

Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong… as a joke. He thinks losing is winning. 

~Kung Pow

So you became part of internet drama, fret not, here is a quick and easy way to see what you can do about it!

You feel insulted because someone made an offhand comment about your race/sex/sexuality/hobby/group that you feel was offensive, or maybe you got trolled by someone with an ulterior motive.

So what can you do? Here is a list of behaviors you can exhibit and the consequences it will entail.

Behavior 1: Craft a vicious and emotional public response (blog, youtube channel, forum etc.) about the drama, detailing how wrong it is and how you feel insulted/offended.

Consequence: You have exposed yourself and your feelings on the internet. You became a lolcow. You lost, the offender won. You automatically forfeit any respect you might have had, and any concern you voice is automatically invalid. It will invite people with an axe to grind (trolls) against you, to point out how unreasonable your offense is (irregardless if your grievance actually is reasonable or not) and perpetuate the abuse. The drama will escalate and the abuse will continue until you break or until the trolls lose interest in you. You have equated yourself to a narcissistic child.

Behavior 2: Do nothing. Block/ignore the offending party.

Consequence: You have established that you are not concerned or offended. The drama will die down almost immediately. You will feel bad because you didn’t respond to the offense. You didn’t lose, but you didn’t win either. Similarly, the offender didn’t win, but he didn’t lose either.

Behavior 3: Craft a cold and rational response (or a ironic/cynical response) keeping it topical and eviscerating the individual with knowledge/wit. Block/ignore the offending party. Disable comments on your blog/youtube.

Consequence: You have established you are offended by the comment, but are strong of will and character. You will not take shit from anybody that attacks your beliefs, but are not exposing yourself to be milked for lulz.  You are a mature individual that can deal with anything in a calm and impartial way, even if you feel offended. You have shown that you are able to move on and that you are aware that the world doesn’t revolve around you. If you do not respond to any other offenses from the offender you have shown great skill and self-control. You have won and the offender lost. He was ridiculed publicly and is now exposed. Congratulations.

Behavior 4: Gather your virtual forces and strike back directly at the offender. Incite your followers against the offender by continuously bringing up the topic and virtually stalking everyone that is associated with the offender. Expose the offender on your blog frequently and viciously.

Consequence: Congratulations, you have become part of the Internet Hate Machine. If you wanted or not, you are now part of /b/. The war will be long and the casualties many. You will start a vicious cycle of attack, counterattack and counter-counterattack. Whatever your group was at the beginning of the war, it will be in pieces at the end of it. Fractures and schisms will form, loyalties will be declared, alliances forged to be broken. After all has been said and done, and you have left a trail of destruction and despair across communities, you will be able to rest on your throne in your private internet-bunker, the world burning around you. Whatever is left of your group will be a perversion of the original. You have “won” the global thermonuclear internet-war. Everybody lost.


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